Relationships and Religion

[Lex]

A large proportion of religions don't allow (or at least don't accept) marriages outside of the religion or even partnerships. I'm intrigued as to what people think about this. I have a slight feeling that people will of course just state what their religion believes so, as well as that, I think I'd ask, what would you do?

If you were religious, but found someone of another religion? What do you think the reaction from your family (also religious we assume) would be and how do you think you would deal with that? What would you do if you were in this situation torn between the two?

I think family would be one of the most difficult choices anyone can make. Some people are practically disowned from their families for 'marrying out'. Others are acknowledged but not in the same close way as they used to be. Of course there is the contradiction here, that most religions opt for a state of accepting people and are family orientated, so how could one possibly disown a member of their own family? Some people are left with the choice of family or partner. This is an incredibly different choice to make. Of course, you love both. Which would you choose?

Do you believe that a belief in a religion that claims to be accepting and understanding, with certain aspects of the religion focusing on forgiveness should not have this fixed policy about 'marrying out'?

It's something that is quite topical especially coming up under the subject of arranged marriages and trying to escape them and I'm hoping that won't be the only thing to be discussed here. I also think it is something that is becoming more common and so is quite topical. With several multicultural countries, there end up being ethnic minorities. They are surrounded by people from other religions and there is far more chance of them finding someone of another religion. Of course this wasn't the case in the old days of these religions when the rules were written. Religions do change with time, usually incorporating new traditions or laws. Could they change to account for marrying out? Should they?

I think children is where the problem lies. IF you are born into a religion you are educated on that religion whilst you are growing up, usually without being given a choice. Is religion so unstable that you need to be born into it? Or, should you be able to choose? Religion claims free will, the right to choose, yet as you are born into a religion you lose some aspect of that choice. However you hit a dilemma. As you suddenly think to yourself everyone should be kept 'religion free' until they are at a suitable age to choose. There are religious ceremonies at young ages, and should you choose to believe strongly in a religion when you are 16 you realise you've missed out on 16 years where you could've followed this religion and wonder why you couldn't be born into it and wish you had been. So I suppose the argument goes both ways.

[Eric]

This sort of issue has been around for many years and isn't only restricted to religous beliefs - economic status, race, creed, colour have all been reasons forbidding (or standing in the way of) true love.

However, to focus on the religous side for a moment; I can see this sort of choice being a test of ones faith, providing one were a true believer of course. Now, if you are a true believer, then the answer is quite clear - your loyalties are to your God - you either choose to live your life to a set of standards, as defined by God (or his duly elected representative (ie, a messager or prophet)) or you don't.

However, The Church (as a general term to describe religous leaders) has realised that, with changing values in the world, in order to retain a shred of relevance in a modern society, they must change or be left behind and so in some cases, this isn't quite the 'forbidden love' it once was.

Of course, I don't accept that people really believe as they used too. There's nothing to fear in this universe (except our own nature)... and so many of the doctrines which are preached are allows to slip by the wayside. The mixing of cultures / values / ethics and our understanding of the universe has redefined out views and throws the necessity of religion itself into the highlight.

Thusly, because I believe religion is no longer considered valid, particularly by younger generations, I think much of this "no marriage outside our reglion" is just good old fashioned predjuce brought on my parents trying to protect their children or longing for the old days. Religion is about understanding and acceptance.... provided you look like me....


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[Chroelle]

Well, I could go with the short: What Eric said... But I am gonna go into a personal experience of this....

I am from a classic Danish protestant family. We use the church for celebrations, Christmas and sometimes Easter...
I once had a half Danish half Indian girlfriend. Even though she was sweet and pretty and everything, my father couldn't help but tell me that he had to be honest about the situation and he felt weird that maybe his grandkids some day would be half white and half Indian looking... He has never been a racist, or a fanatic believer, but he was aware (and felt a bit guilty) that he wanted his grandkids to look like him. So that was his reason for telling me this... He did like the girl, and there was never a problem with her colour, but the fact that the decendants of his family could be mix-colours was enough to make him feel weird.
I believe that there would have been situations where my father would have reacted the same way if it was regarding religion. If I had a wife that was muslim I think he would feel sad that his grandkids would be muslim too, and if she was Jew and such. I think Catholic would be where he would have drawn the acceptance line... And again...My father really isn't a racist. He would have sighed heavily and entered a synagoge or a mosque if the situations should call for it, but he would feel sad about it.
I don't know if that gave any contribution to the thread, but I feel that this is the only way I could answer all of these questions asked.
I am not sure that religion will play the main part in this in the future, but appearance will.
And of course I think people should be able to marry whom ever they fancy. It is them that have to be together the rest of their life (or so they promise) so if they want eachother, then really... who gives a rats *ss about religion and race...