Welcome to the Society of Sinister Minds (SOSM) - please take a seat; I'll begin my speech momentarily.
Tonight's agenda is as follows:
1) Introduction to SOSM.
2) Membership of SOSM.
3) Subverting and debunking the hellish/heavenly bar.
4) Consolidating the Symposium.
5) Our enemies.
6) World domination.
7) Galactic domination.
8] Chroelle.
9) Closing remarks.
1) The Society of Sinister Minds is a meeting place for like-minded people not fully satisfied with the current state of CWF and the world in general.
What we dislike about CWF is the fact that it's centred around the damaging and harmful tedium of the bar-concept, which I'll get back to later. And the unreasonable slow pace in The Symposium and the deafening silence of The Council Chambers. Our goal is to turn the statistics around: The two subforums mentioned must have more topics and posts in them than the marketplace.
As for the much greater task of coping with the obvious inadequacies of the world, we favour the solution of changing it to service our needs, rather than adapting ourselves to that which we dislike.
2) SOSM needs your participation and efforts to achieve its goals. We hope to recruit many ambitious minds with our lofty goals, which will be further elaborated later.
Before moving on to the conditions and rules of membership of SOSM I will first explain the hierarchical structure of the organisation.
Members of the organisation is divided in two, because not everyone can be expected to contribute to SOSM commensurably and in accordance with its ideals. Thus there are two types of membership. Basic membership for those who symphasize with SOSM's goals, but lack true commitment and devotion. Membership of the Inner Circle is restricted to those not encumbered by such doubts.
Members must identify themselves with the twisted evil smiley (

To qualify for basic membership you must:
- Agree with the introduction.
- Prefer other subforums to the Marketplace.
- Write long.
- Be a geek (see the geek test).
- Consider the bar to be a chatroom.
- Support nuclear power.
- Support genetic engineering.
- Put the study of science above the worship of God.
- Find the display of zodiacs on CWF distasteful.
- Like the twisted evil smiley.
- Distance yourself from mainstream.
- Know that the answer is 42.
To qualify for the Inner Circle you must besides the terms of basic membership:
- Favour the Symposium over all other forums on the Internet.
- Be willing to create topics in the Symposium.
- Scorn the bar.
- Have a total number of posts outside the bar that is more than your number of posts in the bar SQUARED.
- Have attempted to destroy the bar.
- Believe in (The Necessity Of) The Cause (see brain of tomorrow thread).
- Have megalomania.
- Rejoice at the death of Jedis in Star Wars.
- Hate the green balloon smiley.
- Oppose the display of zodiacs everywhere.
- Recognize superstition as an endemic disease in humans.
- Know that the answer is 42 Hz.
3) The hellish/heavenly bar is a menacing monstrosity polluting the marketplace. Essentially a gigantic spam magnet attracting a type of 'communication' analogous to white noise - in the sense that it communicates nothing and is irritating.
If it was just this, there wouldn't be a problem, but the thing is that the bar corrupts its visitors, turning them into chat-bots mindlessly posting uninteresting banalities, thus reducing the activity of CWF to spam production. It is clear that the bar represents not only a threat to the evolution of CWF, but also constitutes a serious mental health risk. Will new members join a closed bar-community where people constantly consume fictitious alcoholic beverages? NO! Will they risk being turned into chat-bots? NO!
The bar is an obstacle in the way of progress, and it is time for responsible people to demolish it. It is a symptom of death, signalling the gradual decline of a forum. OldGames rapid descent towards lameness was caused by its bar! We cannot repeat the mistakes of the past by continuing to feed this plague.
4) The positive opposite of the bar is The Symposium. We advocate strengthening it by frequently viewing it AND posting in it. And contrary to the bar, you might actually learn something from it.
5) Unfortunately there are people whose existence is incompatible with the future. We know what must be done with them, but who exactly are they?
They are many and diverse, but some specific examples are astrologers. We hate astrologers, because they poison the minds of fools. And New Age people, who lead other people down a false path. And ecological extremists, who threaten the progress of civilization and science. And religious fanatics, who threatens everything. And all who oppose SOSM.
Apropos people opposing SOSM. Such will not be tolerated here at our headquarters, and I assure you that the guards next to me will make short work any protestors before expediting their departure from existance via the underground crematorium.
Ahem. But SOSM is a flexible organisation, which evolves on the positive feedback from members - AND non-members. However, to distinguish between debaters participating in the following discussion, members must mark their post with the twisted evil smiley, while non-members will not use any smileys, especially not the green balloon one, lest they'll share
the fate of the opposition.
Generally our enemies should be dealt with efficiently, but our most exquisite toxins are reserved for those members who betray us or for infiltrators hiding behind the twisted evil smiley under false pretenses. They deserve a slow, lingering death while painfully aware of what is happening to them... Ha ha ahahaHAHAHAHA!!!
Ahem. Sorry, happens sometimes.
6) Next are our plans for world domination. Here we must move to a bigger timetable as we're nowhere close to begin undertaking such an endeavour. We foresee that the average demographic distribution of opposition to SOSM will make it difficult to maintain a public face, thus we prefer to operate in the shadow of a peaceful organisation - like UNICEF.
Taking on the world can happen in two ways. Either taking over a unified world locked in a tight surveillance system by being the masters of the same systems the people believe protect them from exterior threat such as terrorism. Or, less preferable, rebuilding civilization on the ashes of the world of today after a great war of hitherto unseen destructive potential. Nuclear weapons in the middle east show promising opportunities I would think, but instigating feuds between the major powers is a necessity.
7) Once the world is united under our domination we can turn to space at last. It will take great effort to expand there, but I have no doubts we will succeed. Implications of the Fermi paradox indicates that if it is not impossible, then it is very likely, that we'll be exceedingly lonely out there, but then again there won't be anything other than distance to block our expansion. Becomming like the Borg from Star Trek is our ultimate goal.
8] Some of you will want to know what role SOSM has envisioned for Chroelle. For now, nothing - we'll let him continue believing that he runs everything around here, while we're evaluating his potential as a puppet to be put in some place of power, allowing us to control it too. - President Chroelle of the United States of America has a nice ring to it, don't you agree?
9) The reason for all this? Well, since I'll be away from here for a while, I need to be sure that evil will not abandon CWF in my absence, so that I have something interesting to return to.
Application for basic membership is simple. You put ONE twisted evil smiley in your signature next to the name of our organisation - like this:

Application for the Inner Circle must be made in this thread so that we can keep track of the recruiment order - the next one can put


Thank you for attending. I now declare the debate of the first convention of SOSM open."